'UNHINGED'

The lights turned off and everything plunged into darkness. Suddenly I was swept down a deep abyss of memories. Memories that aren't mine, memories that those things created. My father strikes me over and over again. His obsidian eyes are cold. I scream but nothing comes out, so I cry and writhe in agony as the carpet drenches in blood. He throws me out to die like an animal.

I wake up and find myself on the floor of a small dimly lit room. It was a dream, a hallucination. My mother crouches before me and smiles softly. She offers me a glass of water and I try to grab it. She flinches and covers her face. I stare at her, confused. My eyes scan the scene and I realize that everything is a wreck. The house looks like someone tried to rob it.

“What happened?” I ask my mother.

“You-you were sleepwalking again. It's alright,” she says. “Where is dad?” I ask. “He had to leave with your brother,” she says. “Leave?” I ask. I remember the dream. I remember the blood and the pain. I am reminded of my father’s cold, cruel eyes. “Mom, did he do something? Did I do something?” “You weren't yourself last night. You-” she wouldn't meet my eyes. “You woke up screaming and crying. Your eyes were… bloodshot and dark. You came into our room begging your father to stop. Your pleas turned into rage and you- tried to attack him. To strangle him. A few minutes later, you just stopped. You slumped onto the floor, asleep. It was like you were possessed.” she says. She shakes her head not being able to believe her own words.

I stare at my shaking hands. What is wrong with me? What kind of monster would try to hurt a person who has loved them their whole life? What kind of monster would make their own mother flinch? I forced my own father to leave his house. Was I possessed?

I slowly take the water from my mom and drain it to the dregs.

“Can I call him?” I ask. “Too soon,” she says.

I rise from the floor, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look gaunt and sickly thin. My brown hair falls into my dull eyes. I imagine what I must’ve looked like last night and how horrifying it must’ve been for my brother. I avert my eyes from the mirror. It’s over. They're gone. I would never hurt my mother.

“I’m sorry” I whisper to myself. “I’m so so sorry,” I say looking at my mother.

“I’m a monster,” I say, my vision blurring. “Why would I do that?” I say, tears rolling. My mother tries to wrap her arms around me and I move away. I can't bring myself to touch her. Not after what I did.

I go to my room and lie on my bed. I close my eyes hoping that this is just a dream.

The monsters were never under my bed, they were all in my head. I fear no monster for no monster I see, for all this time the monster has been me.

Another dark night, the memories find themselves in my mind again. This time its my mother. She looks at me in horror as my father lay motionless on the ground. She starts calling me worthless, pathetic, and useless. She throws things at me and screams. She strikes me with whips while calling me filthy names. I try to scream and nothing comes out. So I cry and writhe in agony.

In the darkest hour of the night, he wakes up screaming. His eyes were bloodshot and his hands balled into fists. His heart was racing and his blood was pumping. They tried to hurt him again. They always hurt him. He can’t take it anymore. He gets out of bed with the smallest trace of a smile. He shall end his pain. He shall end his suffering.