7 Ways To Identify A True Friend

By: Rachael John

A friend is someone you care about and cherish. They are with you through thick and thin, when you are most vulnerable and when you are at your best. Obviously, friends make life a hundred times better. They are people whose opinions about you are important because they care about you and want what is best for you... right?

While a great friend will make you feel like the luckiest person in the world, a bad one can pull you down and create a whirlwind of self-doubt in your mind. They will be the barrier stopping you from reaching your full potential. Whether their actions are intentional or not is irrelevant. If their words or actions truly hurt you, then it might be time to have a conversation with them or maybe even put a little distance between the two of you.

Seven ways to identify whether a friend is real or not are:

1. They are constantly competing with you. Everyone enjoys friendly competition. It's part of friendship to rub a good grade in your friend's face and watch them laugh it off or say, "I'll get you back in the next one." However, the line is crossed when their sole motivation for winning or getting good grades is to beat you. It becomes negative competition when you achieve something that you are proud of and they bring you down. Or when you are extremely disappointed about something and all they can talk about is how you were bound to lose anyway or how the results came out perfectly for them.
   

2. They ignore you when their other friends are around You may feel bad when your friend ignores you, but you overlook this behavior by claiming that they are socially awkward. Or that they need to be alone with their other friends. If a friend notices you alone and chooses to ignore you because they are with others, and when you try to join them, they blatantly tell you to leave, it might be time to talk to them. A true friend would never purposefully exclude or ignore you in the presence of others. However, communication is essential in this situation. The last thing you want is to sever a good friendship due to misunderstanding.
   

3. They make you feel worthless when they are in a bad mood Have you ever noticed how you are the most beautiful person on the planet when they are happy about something, but when their mood changes, your self-worth plummets? Most of the time, we dismiss this by assuming they are insecure about something or simply having a bad day. A true friend makes you feel priceless, and even if they are upset, they will never make you the brunt of their negative emotions. They would never drag you down to where they've fallen. Everyone handles emotions differently, but that doesn't mean you should become their punching bag. If they try to talk to you about it or say they need some space, you can try to help them out. But their words should never be directed at you and make you feel small.
   

4. They do not respect your boundaries. Have they ever made you feel awkward in a group setting by bringing up a personal topic? When you try to talk to them about it, they say that it's not a big deal. You let it go because you think you're being overly dramatic. No, you are not. What they are comfortable sharing may not be something you are comfortable sharing, and if it is something about you, it is not theirs to tell. Understanding and adhering to a person's boundaries is basic respect. A true friend would never disregard your personal space. They are concerned with whether or not you are comfortable in a given situation. Poking 'fun' at your insecurities or anything else that you are sensitive about is also a form of boundary violation. Cracking jokes or constantly bringing up something about you that makes you uncomfortable but they find funny is crossing a line and is not acceptable.

5. They gossip about their other 'friends' to you. This red flag is easy to spot, and it can often be correct. If you're friends with someone who is friends with everyone and they have this strange habit of gossiping or talking bad about their other friends to you, but then proceed to act like they're their closest friend in front of them, it might be a good idea to tread carefully in that friendship. Because, regardless of how close you are, if they can talk bad about their other best friend to you, what's to stop them from talking bad about you to their other best friend?
   

6. They don't care about your hobbies or anything you enjoy doing Isn't it always about them? Their interests, passions, drama, and daily lives? You find yourself giving advice all the time. supporting or helping them. But when things go your way, all you get are a few 'um okay's, 'Can we talk about something else?' or 'I'm sorry I have to go.' Anything about you is irrelevant. When you bring up something you are excited about or have accomplished, they call you "self-centered." When you are extremely close to someone, you may not notice that they dismiss all that you say. However, after a while, you realize that every conversation is about them, and somehow you are the self-centered one.
   

7. They are extremely judgemental A friend is not a person you walk on eggshells around. You don't have to calculate your every word and action just to make sure they don't find you, 'goofy' or 'annoying'. They accept your personality the way it is. 'A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you become who you should be.' There is a fine line between constructive criticism and straight-up bullying. Friends who care a little too much about not being 'cringe' and 'cool' may be toxic and it is probably wise to keep an eye out for them.

To summarize, a true friend is not someone with whom you spend time and then feel mentally drained. They are people who energize you and make you feel beautiful as if the world is lucky to have you. Remember that a relationship goes both ways. If you believe you are unintentionally doing any of these things to your friend, try talking to them and gradually bring about change.

We frequently feel obligated to a friendship, especially if we have a small circle of friends. As a result, we disregard everything the friend does or says because we don't want to lose them. You are not alone. We've all felt this way once. Just keep in mind that, they are not the last person on the planet, and even if you break things off with them, you will be able to make new friends. A true friend is irreplaceable because no one else can replace the joy you get from spending time with them. A bad one, on the other hand, can be easily replaced.

Forgiveness is an essential component of friendship. Words can slip out, and actions can be hurtful. We are all human, and we all make mistakes; it is part of the growth process. However, how they react to mistakes reveals their true intentions. whether or not they care. Everyone deserves a second chance, but if they keep making the same mistakes, you have the right to question whether their friendship is worth your time effort and love... or not.